race you to the waterside.

Exactly one year ago today, I was on a plane bound for Sydney, Australia.  I was fresh out of summer classes, newly single, facing my junior year of school…and I was scared.  I was about to fly 10,000 miles around the world to spend two weeks with a girl I’d never met before in my life, and I had no idea what the days ahead would hold.

What I wasn’t expecting was to be completely blown away by the things I experienced and the people who came into my life during my time in Sydney.  Everyone I met changed my life in a new way - through their kindness, their compassion, their sarcasm, their charm, their shocking red hair…every person I met was instantly my friend, no questions asked.  I stood on the edge of the Pacific ocean, on the cliffs at Bondi beach, and simultaneously realized both how small and how absolutely powerful I am.  Something about being so far away from home reminded me that I could be anyone in that moment - that fate was my own horse, to take by the reins and steer as I wished.  My future, my destiny, were entirely mine to shape and mold.

Little did I know that the next year would be so heartwrenching, so life-changing, full of ups and downs and moments so purely sweet they almost broke my heart.  I’ve been through a lot since I came home, that’s no secret to anyone.  I lost some people who were important to me, and struggled through battles with my health and my career.  I changed parts of my identity, leaving groups that defined me just a few years ago.  I distanced myself and somehow simultaneously became closer to my family.  I grew…I grew a lot.  Whether for good or for bad, I’m different, older, and perhaps a bit more mature than when I sat down in seat 14A in L.A. and readied myself for a journey that would change me.

Mostly, though, through the last year…I loved.  Oh, God, I loved.  I fell in and out of love with friends, loved when it wasn’t returned, loved hopelessly, loved happily, loved romantically…this last year was filled with so, so much love.  I suppose it all started when I fell madly in love with a group of charming, handsome, wonderful boys in Australia (and of course, their gorgeous girlfriends) and solidified the sister-love I’d been building with my penpal for ten years.  I guess it started when I embarked on a tumultuous journey of love with a kindred soul from across the globe.  I guess it started when I realized that love isn’t forced, that love isn’t something you see on paper…it’s something you experience with your whole body.  I learned a lot of things in Australia, but how to love was definitely one of them.  And mostly, man, I learned to love myself….not to settle for something that made me happy most of the time, but to seek out love that would change me.  I got a taste of it when I was in Sydney, and it was just enough to whet my appetite so that I wouldn’t stop searching until I found that kind of love again.  I learned how strong and beautiful and powerful I can be, and how earth-shattering it can be to share myself with other people all around the world.  I learned that I wasn’t content with settling in Athens and sorting out a life here; I want to seek the world and everything in it.  I learned a lot in Australia, and I had a lot of great people there to show me.  But mostly, oh gosh, I learned to love.  Nonstop, never ceasing, when it hurts, when it’s great, unconditionally, even when it’s kind of stupid….I learned to love.

I guess it’s fitting, then, that I’ve been listening to one of my favorite songs as a way to remember this last year and the journey I started in Australia.  “Seasons of Love”, from RENT, seems to say it perfectly - a year is best measured in love.  From truth to tears to life and death, our ups and downs are best remembered when they’re measured in moments of love.  I’ve had this song on my “Australia” playlist from the beginning, so a part of me wonders if I always knew I’d be at this place.  Maybe from the beginning of my journey, I recognized that the next year would be satiated with love…and oh, it was.  From Prague to Paris to Athens to Virginia to that moment at the Camden Hotel on a Friday night in Australia, my year has been full of love.  I want to always live this way, I want my seasons to be measured not by time, but by love.  Five hundred twenty-five thousand and six hundred minutes after I got off that plane, I can say a lot of things about where I’ve been, who I’ve met and what I’ve seen, but one thing I can say the most confidently…I’ve loved.  A lot.  And that, I think, is the best way to measure it.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love

Seasons of love
Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died

It’s time now to sing out,
Though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love
Remember the love
Seasons of love

Oh you got to got to
Remember the love
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love, spread love
Measure, measure your life in love

Seasons of love
Seasons of love